It's been a long time since I wrote. I've been feeling overwhelmed with things and sort of fell down the rabbit hole for a while.
I accepted a job offer last month. It's a good job with a mail order pharmacy company. But since I've been back to work, my blood sugar has been out of control, my energy levels are almost zero, and I feel tired and depressed. I work with a nice bunch of people, but none of them understand anything about Type 1 OR about Celiac disease. I actually tried to hide the fact that I had either; but there's only so long you can hide a disease before you've got some explaining to do. Now I feel like I am viewed as the 'sick person.' I don't feel like I fit in.
In an effort to not worsen things, I've made a point to not tell them details about either disease. For example, they don't know about low blood sugar or how to treat it. I have successfully acted my way through several low blood sugar episodes without anyone knowing I had one. I felt like I was going to pass out I was so low, but didn't want anyone to know because I don't want to make things worse. This is my first new job since getting these diagnoses. At my prior job, I worked with my coworkers long enough PRIOR to getting diagnosed that I wasn't afraid to talk to them about it. They cared about me and were genuinely curious about it. It's different at this new job. I don't know what to do. I don't want my new boss to think "Oh great, I hired a SICK person."
I feel so isolated and alone. I don't really have anyone to support me. Having bad bg numbers has only fueled the situation.
I don't know how to handle all of this stuff. My first instinct is to quit my new job and just stay in my house, where I feel safe. For now, I just tell myself to just get through things one day at a time...
I am also feeling like I would enjoy a new pace of life, living outside of Minnesota. Texas? San Diego? Las Vegas? Those would be my top 3 I think. Know of anyone hiring an Analyst for an Pharmacy Benefits Management Company or similarly-skilled area (health insurance company?)I'm a smart girl who learns quickly and has a heart of gold.
I just need to make some changes. I just don't know where to start.