A letter to my Dexcom 7.

Dear Dexcom 7,

I just wanted to thank you for keeping me up all night. It must be nice to stay up all night partying and being loud, and then get to sleep in and not function properly until 11:19am this morning. I wish I could stay up all night and then sleep in, but unfortunately one of us needs to go to work so we can pay the bills.

Thank you for the 2am, 3am and 3:30am fake warnings of high blood sugars, for saying I was 221 when in actuality I was 79 and later 98. Thanks for waking the dog up so I had to take her to go potty at 2 in the morning.

Thanks for the ERR1 message you gave me this morning at work- twice. In case no one else knew you weren't working properly, you made it known by beeping as loud as you could in my cubicle.

I also want to thank you for putzing out on me at only 3 days old. You are supposed to last a week, you jerk.

You just wait until January when I can afford to replace you with the G4; we'll see who's laughing then.