Yesterday a little bird smashed against my front door window. It was loud and sounded like a rock. I looked out the door and saw this little bird suffering, rolling around frantically on my sidewalk, flailing around. Feeling awful, I stopped watching; fearing I was watching its slow death.
Still worrying about the bird, I returned to the window 30 minutes later, to see it sitting up in my flower pot, a foot from where it had been lying and flailing. It sat like a statue. I went outside and knelt next to it, thinking the worst. Is it dead? Did it lose his sight? Is something broken- his neck? Is he stunned or dead? Because even when he saw me, he didn’t move an inch. So I took one finger and lightly once pet him and said nice things to him. Then I left him alone so as not to frighten him further.
I went back inside, drawing up a game plan: What does he eat? Maybe I should bring him food in case he is unable to move or is paralyzed. I began googling what birds like him eat. One website mentioned sunflower seeds, worms and mosquitoes. I had none of those things. So I thought about driving to the store to buy bird food. I also thought about the cold evening coming, and wondered if he’d survive the night. Should I bring him in? Maybe put him in the garage, protected from the cold winds? What to do, what to do. I felt this enormous responsibility to protect him.
I couldn’t stand to see him suffer. Then I stopped what I was doing and began praying. “Please God, please save this little bird. I know he is important to you because you created him. He matters to you. Please don’t let him suffer, whatever his fate is. Please let him be okay.” And sadness covered my heart as I thought about the pain he was feeling.
About 10 minutes later I looked out the window and didn’t see the little bird. I walked outside and knelt close to where he had been. I saw the twig on the ground he had earlier been standing on like a statue. I looked around the perimeter. No sign of bird.
At that moment I walked in the house with my heart filled with awe and love and thankfulness. Something struck me. In that moment, I realized that “I” was that little bird. The prayer I said was about me; it was reflective of my own worries and insecurities. All the fear I have held deep in my heart of having no one that will protect me. The fear that I will go through this life -and all its challenges- alone. Then God showed me that he cared enough about that little bird to save him. It made me think, if God could love a little finch that much, imagine how much he loves me. Me, I matter. He won’t let me suffer alone, whatever my fate is. I will be okay. God has rescued me in many situations, and he continues to protect me every day. I just need to have faith and hand my worries over to God.
It was just the reassurance I needed.