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I'm a glass-half-full type of girl. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, grave's disease and celiac disease in 2010 and life-altering allergies in 2013. I believe having a positive attitude is the only way to live with dis-ease. I also believe that life doesn't have to be PERFECT for it to be WONDERFUL. Dis-ease is expensive, so I live a frugal yet healthy lifestyle. This is just my blog; my day-to-day story.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Hiding diabetes.

Day two of new job.

The extreme tiredness that one experiences when your brain is trying to absorb new info for 8 consecutive hours has set in. I feel like I stuffed 20 lbs of potatoes in a 10 lb sack. I don't think I'm eating enough. I'm definitely not going to bed early enough. And the 1 hr commute home everyday (from city rush hour) is killing me. But I like the job and the people.

My diabetes numbers have been GREAT, but at a price. Since I have been trying to keep my diseases a secret for as long as possible, I have been eating very small amounts of carbs in order to avoid having the CGM beep with highs. So breakfast has been 3 egg whites, no carbs. Lunch has been a salad with almost no dressing. And I have carby snacks and juice boxes on hand when I see I'm dropping below 80. I eat only enough to get it in the low 100s. I have not beeped one time in two days. I only check my blood sugar in the bathroom stall. My pump is currently on my stomach; virtually invisible under the right clothing. No one seems to have noticed anything. People talk to me about normal people things. I felt NORMAL for the first time since being diagnosed with diabetes 3 years ago. I'm enjoying this for as long as I can, because I know as soon as people find out I have diabetes, I will start to hear the stories we've all heard- who they know that has diabetes or died from it. I will get 1000 questions on my diet, diabetic symptoms, my family's health history, and get told how I don't "look" like a diabetic (what does one look like, exactly). I will have judgments placed on me when people see me eating sugary things.

I have had diabetes long enough that I had almost forgotten what it felt like to not have it (or to not be treated like I have it). It's 100% non-disease related conversations. It's like old times. It made me sad and made me really miss my "old" life, the one without diabetes. I want to hang on to people not knowing I have it for as long as possible.

8 comments:

  1. It's amazing how eating low carb (or not eating at all) can keep things level for a while. Unfortunately it doesn't work forever:(. But enjoy it while it lasts and good luck with your new job.

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    1. Thank you! I'm hoping the BGs will last for a while. *fingers crossed*

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  2. Never above the low 100s? Man, that's amazing control. Whatever happens, I hope the honeymoon lasts as long as you want.

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    1. Yes, it hasn't gone above 147 in 3 days. I am amazed by the control I am getting just by managing my food.

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  3. I wouldn't know what to do not telling every one in a room I am diabetic. Then going straight into my stand up diabetes routine. Maybe I have completely forgot everything before the age of 13. Hope it all works out for you

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    1. Hi Dave! This is the first job where I've decided to try to keep it a secret and it's more of a challenge than I thought it would be. I know once I decide to share I can't undo it. I have to change my pump site tonight and it should go to my arm next but people will see it. Haven't decided what to do about it yet...

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  4. I choose to not wear my CGM or Pods where people can see them, but that being said, I've had my CGM alarm many times in front of others. I just silence it and I have never once been asked what it was. I went literally MONTHS without telling anyone about my diabetes. Even now, very few people know. I guess I've just never thought hiding it was that hard. The dead give away will be wearing the Pod on your arms. Keep us posted.

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